I met with the other midwife. She was looking over my ultrasound results and said, "They want you to come back for another one at 24 weeks, did they already tell you or am I breaking the news?" I hadn't been told. She said the doctor that reviewed the results didn't see what they like to see in the heart pictures, they want to be sure the baby has 4 chambers. My heart fell. She said the baby was "butt up" so it was probably due to the position, not necessarily abnormalities and if they do it later on, there's a better chance of getting a better picture. She told me not to worry. (Yeah right, lady.) She said it usually takes a week to get results but if its anything serious, they won't let me go home. :\
We heard B3's heartbeat right away, I made my next appointment (I was going to decide which midwife I wanted to see throughout the rest of my pregnancy, but when she asked if I wanted to see the same one again, I just said sure. I didn't feel like thinking about that,) made the ultrasound appointment (not for another 5 weeks) and made my payment, but my mind was somewhere else the entire time. I got home and told Steven, went inside and started warming up milk for Sean. And because I would've been surprised if they hadn't, that's when the tears came. Lots of them. I felt so sad. Steven came in and hugged me for awhile. I prayed. I asked for prayers. And of course, I googled it. A majority of what I read said the second ultrasound went perfectly well. Some said their baby's had to have open-heart surgery a few days after birth (I can't even imagine!) And then there were the handful that had lifelong conditions. :( After all of that and talking to some of my favorite people, I felt so much better.
I know if this is anything, it'll be serious. But I also know that we'll get through it. It'll be on my mind a lot over the next few weeks, but I can already tell it won't be something I'll lose sleep over... at least until the night before. Without Steven, those around and my faith, I know this would be a lot worse to wait for.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well
-Psalm 139
Rebecca! =( That little baby is perfect and nothing can change that!
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