Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending...

The kids are next to me eating lunch and I'm on facebook, as usual. I just saw that my ex boyfriend and his wife had their second baby a couple of weeks ago. [We're not fb friends, I was snooping around- everybody does it!] Its so weird that you can still be happy for somebody that put you through such horrible times. We were together for a very unpretty 3 years.

I met him in 8th grade and we were friends til we became "serious" our Senior year. The catch: we were long distance in the beginning. Who does that in high shcool?! He was in Arizona and I was in North Carolina. We got to see each other four times that year. What nice parents we had! He's the reason I moved back to Arizona. For so long I thought I made a huge mistake coming here but obviously, it was where I was meant to be in the end.

He texts me every now and then to say hey, I've had the same number since I moved back. How I don't hate him with a passion sometimes makes me wonder. That kid put me through hell. The hardest part for me was being without my Mom during it all. Most of my friends left for college when I moved back. I had friends but he was basically it. It was such a lonely time of my life.

Becomming a parent has changed me so much. I don't think I was ever a bad person but its made me look at life so differently. In a strange way, I feel like that was when I was finally able to forgive him. Because without his mistakes, I wouldn't be who or where I am today. [I'm not saying I was a perfect girlfriend, there were plenty of times things were my fault.]

Everytime I hear this song, I can't help but think of him [and Steven] and be SO grateful that one day I snapped back into reality and was brave enough to walk away from him. Yeah we had good times, but the bad times were ugly and often. I don't understand how relationships that start out rocky can survive in the long run. Are those issues ever really resolved? 

I thank God all the time that I'm with Steven. I don't know that everybody's blessed enough to end up with the person they're meant to be with. But thankfully we are. I can't say that the moment I saw Steven, I knew he was the One. But I can say that if we hadn't ended up together, I would've always thought about him and wondered what could've been, he would've been "the one that got away." Haha. He's not perfect but he's perfect for me. Being in that bad relationship makes me appreciate everything with Steven. EVERYTHING. Even the hard times. There's nobody else I'd want to be mad at and argue with but him.

When he's the one, I'll come undone

and my world will stop spinning...

 and its just the beginning